Love Believes the Best
Love believes all things, hopes all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:7
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
I pretty easily filled up two sheets of paper on both lists! (Although I did use a smaller notebook, if that matters.) The biggest struggle on this was doing it where he wouldn’t see me do it! (When he’s got the day off, he’s around 24/7!)
I thanked him for working so hard for us. He’s gone up to 6 weeks at a time so that we can live the life that we do. (So I can stay home and homeschool, so we can live fairly comfortably, etc.) He definitely wasn’t expecting to hear that! (And then I’m hoping he doesn’t read this! LOL! Because I know that came out of left field and totally threw him for a loop.)
While completing today’s dare I realized how many great attributes my husband carries. He’s a great dad, a faithful husband, and good friend. I shared with him how much I appreciate him. I’ve been in a relationship where someone has been unfaithful, so having my husband faithful is very important! Because I never want to relive those memories! Today’s dare also made me question “what would he write on his list about me”. Of course not everything on his list would make me proud, but it also challenges me to be a better!
“Love is not irritable”
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. -Proverbs 16:32
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
This is the toughest one so far for me…
Admitting that I often make the wrong things a high priority is hard for me. (With my husband on the road a lot, I tend to be more selfish with our routines while he is gone – and then it disrupts my schedule, making me irritated when he gets home! So I need to get myself out of that mindframe!
In another note – he was putting away laundry today (Yes, I know! I’m lucky – my husband doesn’t mind doing my laundry!!! WOO HOO!!) But he was putting things in the wrong places. Rather than get irritated (like I normally would) and telling him how he’s doing it all wrong? I simply let him go, and said “Hey thanks for doing that! But, if you have questions about where things go, just ask!”
(And guess what? He did ask!! And so my laundry is put away in the RIGHT place! And thankfully by someone else! LOL!)
Just like Jacque said today was by far the toughest day for me. Things didn’t go as plan. My work computer tough a dive and when you work from home that’s a big deal. So I was already on edge and my dear hubby was trying to love and support me and every time he would call I was irritable at first, but by the end of the conversation I felt better. Sometimes he knows exactly how to love and support me.
Lately I feel like my bank account has been overdrawn. Too many withdrawls and not enough deposits, but my hubby has been so loving! Guess I need to be grateful that he’s calling… thank you God for reminding how lucky I am to have a husband that calls!
Love is not rude
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.
Ask your spouse to tell you three
things that cause him or her to be
uncomfortable or irritated with you.
You must do so without attacking them
or justifying your behavior. This is
from their perspective only.
The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious. (Ecclesiastes 10:12)
I have to say today was hard for me. I felt myself different times during the day wanting to responde rudely. Thankfully I held my tongue and avoided an fight. Here I am a girl that wants to act like I have it all together, but when backed against the wall I find my tongue wanting to react rudely. Boy have I’ve been missing out oppotunities to show love…
Today was too easy for me… We’d just had this discussion (in the form of an argument) a few days prior – so it was all fresh in our minds. So when I asked him this question, he felt like I’d been listening to him previously. That I wanted to revisit this as a discussion rather than an argument and that I actually cared what he had to say about it!
(BRAVO!! This is the point of the whole thing, after all! Isn’t it?)
We never like to hear the things about us that someone else finds to be less than desirable. It hurts. It just plain sucks. But, it also can give you an idea of what you need to improve about yourself – especially when it comes to what you’re bringing to the marriage table.
Love is thoughtful
How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . .
How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them,
they would outnumber the sand. —Psalm 139:17–18
Contact your spouse sometime during
the business of the day. Have no agenda
other than asking how he or she
is doing and if there is anything
you could do for them.
Get your copy of The Love Dare and join us in this challenge!
I’m so guilty of not following this on a daily basis. I don’t call unless I need something. Never. And I will pick up stuff if I know he needs/wants it, but I’ll rarely call (or text) just to say “Hey hon, do you need anything?”
Today, I did it. (I half wonder if he thought I was crazy – just asking out of the blue!) And sure enough, I got a list. (A small one, but a list.) I grabbed a few extra things while I was out too – still feeling on a slight high from yesterdays cap-gun purchase! And I decided to grab the ingredients for one of his favorite dinners – something we don’t have often because it’s pricier. (YAY Beef! **snicker** )
I’m not sure if he’s noticing a difference yet, which if I’m being honest is a bit frustrating. I want instant gratification. But I’m definitely feeling better about things. I know that I am putting an effort in places where I haven’t for a long time, and that’s a good step in the right direction.
I found this is one of my strengths. I naturally go out of my way to be thoughtful, but I can tell you it’s a lot easier to be thoughtful to someone when they are thoughtful to you. But it means more to someone when you’re thoughtful when they don’t “deserve” it. So today was one of those days. I had felt pulled in all directions, but I still found time to ask Mike it there was anything I could do for him and let him know I was thinking of him. To my surprise he said “no”, and he told me he was just talking to his boss about how “easy” our marriage was. That made me feel good, because I’ll be honest some days it doesn’t feel easy at all, but at least he don’t have un-needed pressure in our marriage 🙂
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10
Whatever you put your time, energy, and
money into will become more important
to you. It’s hard to care for something
you are not investing in. Along with
restraining from negative comments,
buy your spouse something that says,
“I was thinking of you today.”
My husband is still out of town – although he’ll be home on Monday!!
I struggled with this one. How can I buy him something if he’s not here? Seriously??
Then, it hit me! I can buy him caps for his annoying cap gun. The one I hate. The one I wish would just disappear… (Because more often than not? He sets that darn thing off in my direction when he knows it will scare me.)
I can stock the fridge with his favorites too! So he doesn’t have to make a trip to the store when he gets home.
So I suppose I’ll have a delayed reaction to this one, but that’s fine! As we learned on day one, Love is Patient.
Today didn’t start out so great for me. Mike was going downstairs to do a load a laundry and I said “I have a load in the washer, so you can give them to me and I will take them down”. And his response was “I need you put them in the washer, not just take them downstairs”. That triggered me and I responded “duh”. Not the mostly loving words and I should have been more clear about putting them in the washer for him.
Hopefully I made up with rude comment when I bought him a pack of dark brown socks from Kohls. Yes, brown socks… you see at least once a week we have some kind of argument over brown socks. Either they are dirty or lost when he wants to wear them. So I solved the problem and his face lit up when I gave him the bag with dark brown socks in it 🙂